Social Eating

People don't talk about how allergies can affect your social life enough. What you can and can't eat seems like a small thing, but it can have a big impact. It feels like the most common way to meet up with people, whether friends, family, or a significant other, is by eating out together. Having allergies makes this a lot tougher, especially if it's a new place. 

What's worse is that sometimes it feels like you're missing out on social events due to your allergy restrictions. Say you're allergic to fish and your friends are eating sushi or you're allergic to eggs and they're going to a bakery.  

Here are some ways I get around this:

Going through Yelp is always a ton of fun, but it can also be good prep. You can make a Yelp or Google list (called a "collection") of food places you can eat at and that you would enjoy eating at. This will really help guide the whole "where should we eat" "can you eat this" "can you eat that" conversation. It can feel bad when others have you decide on a place because of your dietary restrictions, even make you feel guilty. You want to make sure everyone likes the place you eat at, but if it's only you making the decision, it's hard to be sure. 

So a better response to the "where do you want to eat" question can be a simple list with places you can eat. It'll help lift the burden off you and ensure everyone is happy with the choice.

Basically the same idea as #1 but less specific. If you don't want to look through restaurants or you don't have the time, try making a simple list of cuisines you can generally eat (whether written our or in your head). You can also share this when trying to decide on a place. 

For example, I can usually have Mexican, Vietnamese, and Mediterranean food. Even this small amount of context can really people that don't know much about you allergies. Often times, people have favorite spots for different types of foods, and it can be a great starting point for figuring out where to eat.

Who doesn't love picnics? You can bring the food you like, eat outside with others, and enjoy the weather. But another great benefit is not having to worry about what you eat. If you can bring your own food, you can enjoy all your time instead of spending half of it asking about what you can or can't eat.

I often ask people to cook instead of eat out. 99% of the time, they are a lot more excited by the idea of cooking. You have a lot more control over what you make, and the experience (whether the end result is great or disgusting) can be a lot of fun. Plus, it's a great bonding experience.

I know I keep talking about Yelp/Google, but that's because they're honestly great resources. Say where you eat has already been decided, but you have no idea what you can eat there.

Step 1: look at their menu (try Yelp, Google, or their website). This will give you a good starting point for what you mightttt be able to eat. Step 2: look at pictures of those foods. Not everything is going to be listed in the menu, but a lot of allergens (say cheese or gluten) are easy to spot by looking at some pictures. Step 3: once you've narrowed down your list, look through the restaurant reviews. You can search for that specific food or more generally for keywords like "allergy" or "vegan" (if you're allergic to animal products). This will give you a better sense of what you may be able to eat, and how the restaurant responds to allergies. Obviously, step 4 will be checking with the restaurant (over the phone or in person). 

Sometimes it's not this easy. At the end of the day, there will be times when others are going somewhere where you simply can't eat much (if anything). Often times (not always) when I'm in this situation, I still opt in to go. Sure, it can be awkward when the waiter or cashier asks what you want and you say nothing, but that passes (especially in bigger groups). 

And who really cares? Honestly, you're not there to eat. Eating or drinking something is a great excuse for meeting up, but it's the not the reason you meet up. You can still benefit from the social experience without ordering (and your wallet will thank you too).